What Works For Me.

I have spent the past couple of weeks doing a lot of thinking, very little training and lots of eating.  I have decided not to do the show in April.  I may do one later this season, but I still haven't decided.

The plan that I have been on for the past six weeks was not the right plan for me, so I have stopped.  

Here's the deal.  I've been bodybuilding for over 20 years.  There have been times where everything was on track, I looked great and I was happy.  There have been times when that wasn't the case.  I have done restrictive diets where I dropped weight quickly, but it wasn't sustainable.  I have been a "Cardio Bunny" and gained weight. I have gone vegan and not only lost weight, but lost tons of muscle and developed health problems.  I have been strong but fat.  I have been strong and lean.  I've tried it all and here's what I know to be true:  There are no shortcuts.

I know my body.  I know what works for me.  The only difficulty I have is lack of patience.

When I eat smart and lift heavy I get results.  Really great results, actually.  But it takes time.  I get frustrated.  I get impatient and I decide I need to do something to speed things up.  Let me tell you something:

This never works.  

My body doesn't respond well to lots of cardio, so spending an hour on the treadmill is not the answer for me.  HIIT a couple times a week works best.

My body doesn't respond well to low calorie diets.  I may initially lose fat, but I also will lose muscle and eventually gain all the fat back.  And then some.  

My body doesn't respond well to light weights for high reps.  I want muscles.  Big muscles.  Light weights aren't going to get me to my goal.

I need to eat fat.  Low fat diets put me in starvation mode and make me crave junk.  If I don't get enough healthy fats my skin starts to get very dry and my hands will actually start to develop really painful, deep cracks.

I can't have sugar.  For many reasons.  Not the least of which are common yeast infections and hypoglycemia.  My body is much happier if I don't have sugar.

Meat is good.  It just is.  Lots of protein, healthy fats and it tastes good.  I need to eat it.

Having said that, I am a foodie.  I love to eat.  I love to cook.  I need a flexible diet where I can eat foods that I enjoy.  IIFYM works best for me.

I don't enjoy working out in a group setting.  Classes really aren't my thing.  

I don't like being told what to do.  Trainers aren't my thing either.

February is always a very difficult month for me.  I get depressed, I hate being cold and often I dont even want to leave the house.  This is not the month for me to be strict with my diet and training because it's just not going to happen.  Then I fail and end up even more depressed.

So, where does that leave me?

I gave myself a break until the end of February.  No strict dieting and only training when I really feel like it.  No pressure to get to the gym every day.  No tracking macros.  

I took some time to re-assess my training and diet and wrote up a new plan.  Not surprisingly, it's actually almost identical to several plans I've done in the past.  I go back to these basics because they work for me.  I get results.  I look good, I feel good and I'm healthy and happy.  This is where I need to be right now, not dieting down, doing tons of cardio and spending a few months being miserable just so I can look good on stage before I rebound and gain a bunch of fat.  Then start the whole cycle over again.

I will do this the right way, so I can get lean and healthy and STAY lean and healthy.  I will be patient and consistent.

I will be happy.

My new plan starts March 1.

Frustration

The past two weeks have been rough.  After my last bi-weekly I had a reality check: Either stick to the plan, or find a later show.  Well, I stuck to the plan 100% for a week.  Lost a little. The second week wasn't as good, but still I was mostly on track.  Still, I am not seeing the results I want.  

Granted, I could be more compliant, but here is what I keep thinking:  I am still eating below maintenance.  I am not bingeing. I am doing a ton more cardio than I have ever done before.  Those 3 factors alone should be enough to get those numbers going down, but for some reason it isn't happening.  I don't think it's metabolic damage, but I guess it's possible.  Still, I was at maintenance for a few months before I started this plan, so I should have had time for things to balance out.  Either way, something needs changing.

Training.  Well, I'm not liking it.  Anyone that knows me knows that I really don't like cardio and I love to lift heavy.  The past 2 months I have done cardio every single morning and I have even started enjoying it and looking forward to my morning cardio sessions.  The lifting is not going well, though.  I mentioned this before, but this plan has forced me to lower the weights quite a bit in order to perform the very high number of reps ( 30, 50, 100 or more)  It's quite a change since, before this plan, "high reps" for me meant 10-12, with most of my lifting being in the 5-8 rep range. I am to the point that I no longer look forward to my lifting sessions.  In fact, I am starting to kind of dread them.  Lifting is my favorite pastime and something that I truly enjoy doing to feel strong, release stress and just feel good.  Right now I don't feel strong at all.  I'm worried that I'm losing strength and muscle. I need to change this.  Now.  

Yes, I want to have a rockin' hard body again, but I don't want to be miserable in order to get there.  If changing things up means that I can't do a show in April then I'm fine with that.  Maybe I'm not a person who should aspire to get on stage.  Maybe prepping for a comp is just going to trigger all kinds of fucked up things like a messed up metabolism, rebound, eating disorder, etc.  

Right now I'm just in a rough place and not sure which way to go.  I'm hoping to get a chance to talk with my coach soon about all of this and see what path she thinks we should take.  This is a huge part of my life and if I'm not enjoying the process then it just isn't worth it.

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